After eight years attending class at Baylor University, it is over. Not that I have finished finals or gone through graduation, but I did have my last official class this morning. After the class was over there were not any bells or bright lights. I left the class, just as I have been leaving classes for the last eight years. It still is pretty amazing that it is all coming to an end.
I have been so busy preparing for the end that I can't believe it is here. There are still three finals to be taken and a statement of faith to be completed, but I am on the last leg of the race.
I love quotes and one that I heard in jr. high has been going through my head "This is not the end, it is not even the beginning of the end, but perhaps it is the end of the beginning." Actually today was not the end and I must not view it this way. Today and the days until graduation are the beginning of the next chapter of my life. Although I am scared to death and sad to leave, I am excited to see what is ahead. I can't wait to discover who I am to become!
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
My Sister
I shared with my sister (www.ohtomumble.blogspot.com) my thoughts on leaving Waco. Of course she knew the exact words to share.
"Just remember that Waco and its inhabitants aren't going anywhere. You don't have to mourn their loss. You just have to accept that you are pursuing your life's dreams in another location. They aren't gone or forgotten; they are just physically removed from your immediate surroundings. You are going to be fine, and it won't take you long to realize that moving isn't mourning... Moving is growing, exploring, reinventing, and maturing."
She is so right. My sister, Amanda Bigbee, is the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. She is my best friend and has lovingly put up with me for the last 25 years. She is intelligent and works harder than any person I know. I could not ask for someone who supports me more. She is my biggest cheerleader. I am not just leaving Waco, but I am leaving my family in the DFW area. My sister will be half way across the US. This is my first step in life that I am having to take without her. She was in second grade at Stone Elementary in Hobbs, NM when I had my first day of kindergarten. She was in her third year at Baylor when I was just starting out. Each step I have made in my life, she took first. She was the brave one that I sheepishly followed. She has been the one with courage.
"Just remember that Waco and its inhabitants aren't going anywhere. You don't have to mourn their loss. You just have to accept that you are pursuing your life's dreams in another location. They aren't gone or forgotten; they are just physically removed from your immediate surroundings. You are going to be fine, and it won't take you long to realize that moving isn't mourning... Moving is growing, exploring, reinventing, and maturing."
She is so right. My sister, Amanda Bigbee, is the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. She is my best friend and has lovingly put up with me for the last 25 years. She is intelligent and works harder than any person I know. I could not ask for someone who supports me more. She is my biggest cheerleader. I am not just leaving Waco, but I am leaving my family in the DFW area. My sister will be half way across the US. This is my first step in life that I am having to take without her. She was in second grade at Stone Elementary in Hobbs, NM when I had my first day of kindergarten. She was in her third year at Baylor when I was just starting out. Each step I have made in my life, she took first. She was the brave one that I sheepishly followed. She has been the one with courage.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Grief
I have been waiting for it to hit me. Dreading the day I would realize all that I am about to leave behind. Well, it has happened. The other day someone told me that as I am leaving, I am grieving. This is not what I wanted to hear. I know the pain and lonlineess of grief all too well. I have spent the last seven years grieving the death of my mother. I know the hole that is left in my heart when someone is gone. I have felt the unexplainable pain too many times and I don’t want to feel it again. I am dreading the hurt that is to come in the next few months. How do you say goodbye to the place that has been the background to the most formative years of your life? How do you say good-bye to the people you have let so close to you heart? How do you move one? Is it possible?
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