Passion

Since day one of starting my Ph.D., I have been told to do my dissertation on something about which I am passionate. The reasoning being that this is the only way you will finish this long process. I came in saying my passion was eating disorders. I know a weird thing to be passionate about, but it was mine. I cann't explain why I had this interest. I have never had an eating disorder, but ever since I watched the Karen Carpenter story when I was about 12, I have been fascinated with the subject. In the past few months, I wondered if this passion that started with a made for TV movie would be enough. I realized last night that I couldn't stay away from this passion even if I tried.

Last night my friend Kerrie (also in program) and I went to dinner. We then proceeded to Barnes and Noble to look around. Before I knew it, we were both sitting in the floor of the psychology section. I had pulled off the shelf the only three books about eating disorders. I quickly became engulfed in what they had to say. I looked up at one point and asked Kerrie if we were sick. Here it is a Friday night when we could be doing anything and we are spending it looking at books for school. As I said the words, I realized we aren't sick, we are passionate. To spend a free night reading those things that deeply interest you is pure joy. My passion that started with Karen Carpenter is enough. It is enough because it is my passion. I don’t have to explain it, but I merely need to embrace it.